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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92) shadesong | |
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I spent the early part of this morning trying on all of the dresses in my closet. (WisCon is a dress-up con.) Due to my weight fluctuation over the years I've been sick, I have a lot of things that need to be let out and a lot of things that need to be taken in; I have very little that actually fits, and what does fit, I've worn to countless cons already. I was feeling desperately cranky. Especially because I knew I really wanted at least one new dress - I have a bookmark folder of dresses from Anthropologie, Modcloth, Trashy Diva, PinUp Girl Clothing. And every so often, over the past few months, I've pulled out the bookmarks and then had to sigh and say no, not yet. Because we moved, and we had upfuckery with some of our utilities, and it's just been one of those years where every time you think you're caught up there is Something Else. And all of the money has been going towards stuff for the household, and I couldn't justify something just for me.
So I tried on a dress, I went to show Judah, and he gave me a critique on it, and I went AUGH and stomped off, because yes it's not perfect, but it fits okay, and I just cannot even. He followed me and we talked out what was bugging me and how much better I'd feel if I just had one dress that fit me and that I hadn't had for years and years. But we were out of time to order anything, so feh.
And he said "I still owe you a birthday gift. Let me buy you a dress."
<3
I fussed at him over spending money on fripperies and he reminded me that this was his money, not mine, and he did owe me a gift, and having a new dress that fits and looks good is obviously psychologically important. And he drove me to Anthropologie, and we went dress shopping.
...we didn't find anything. I am oddly proportioned and can't always find stuff off-the-rack, but I can sometimes find stuff at Anthropologie. Today it was stuff that wouldn't've looked good or was strapless or just didn't fit right.
But the point is, and this is not just about the dress - he listened to me, he understood that this was about something bigger than just a dress, and because it was within his power to try to fix the problem, he did. This is a thing I love - that when either of us is upset, we work to find out what the real problem is, and we do whatever we can to fix it. Because it's never really just about a dress; here it's about me getting put last, even by myself, and him saying no, you deserve better.
I won't have a new dress for Wiscon, but sometime soon, I will have a new dress. By Readercon. In the meantime, I have yarn.
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/syndicated.gif?v=92) officialgaiman | |
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http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2012/05/preamble-to-photograph.html posted by Neil
This is a very long preamble to a photograph.
When Amanda and I were first going out together we would spend a lot of time on the phone, talking about big real things. We don't talk on the phone anywhere nearly as much any more, and when we do talk on the phone we're more likely to be trying to figure out the logistics of where we are in the world and how we can warp space and time in order to be in the same place relatively soon than about our hearts or our lives. That's just the way things are, and when we're together, late at night, in bed, we still talk about all the big real things.
But we used to talk on the phone. One night I said something to Amanda about my life, and beds, and the sizes of beds, and she got very quiet. I thought she was crying on the phone, which seemed odd, as I'd not said anything (to my mind) about hearts.
A week or so later, she announced on Twitter that she was writing a song. She posted photos of herself after each verse. It seemed like the whole of Twitter was cheering her on.
I got to Boston a few days later, and she played me her song, on the huge grand piano in her cramped apartment. She'd taken a tiny fragment of my life and made it into something else, a story about a couple, from joy to death, exhibited, as in a legal case or at an inquest, as a sequence of beds. I cried when she played it.
She asked me to give it a title, because I had inspired it, and I didn't want to give it a clever title, and so I called it "The Bed Song", and the name stuck.
It's one of the songs on her new album.
She's asked a number of artists to make art to go along with the book, asked if I would do something for "The Bed Song". I thought about what I wanted to make, realised it was a sequence of five photographs, mirroring the five verses/exhibits in the song. And that, while I love taking photographs (my lomo cameras are some of my favourite possessions) I did not know how I would take these photographs...
Fortunately, a few days later there was a gathering in Barrington Illinois to honour Gene Wolfe, and my friend Kyle Cassidy was there with his beautiful actress wife Trillian. I asked Kyle if he'd like to collaborate on making art: I'd write a script, describing the images, as I would have done if I was writing a comics script. He'd take the photos. Kyle said yes. Then I told him the deadline we were on...
And that we'd need people of all ages, willing to be photographed, in couples (all but one), naked in a bed.
Kyle set off, undaunted.
Kyle is an amazing photographer. We found volunteers through friends and through Twitter. It was relatively easy to find people to pose in their twenties and thirties and forties... finding older models was harder. I was hugely pleased when my friends Samuel R. Delany and Mia Wolff agreed to pose for the last photograph we needed.
Many of the people who had their photos taken told Kyle that it was a life-changing experience for them, and I can believe it.
The photographs were beautiful. The sequence of photographs worked as a story. We were happy, about everything except... Kyle had taken too many good photographs.
Each photograph was a piece of art. Amanda's doing an art book already, of the art that's been made for the album, but we desperately wanted to see Kyle's photos reproduced at the size and at the same quality as they'll be hung in the art galleries they'll be hanging in this summer, during Amanda's art tour. And we wanted the photos that weren't just part of the set of five, that would hang in the gallery and be part of the art book, to be seen.
So that's what we're doing. We're making a maximum of 666 of them (to commemorate the % by which the Evening With Neil and Amanda Kickstarter exceeded its level). If the demand is less, we may make significantly less. We want copies for our models, and a few for ourselves. You'll get one if you support the Kickstarter at the $1000 level or above (so each of the 35 people hosting a house party, for example, will get a copy), and you also get all the goodies from lower levels as well.
Right now we're just finalising the specs -- Kyle wants a lock on the box (or slipcase) it comes in, for example, but we need to decide what kind of lock...
There will be photographs, reproduced at the same size (HUGE -- the book is planned to be the same size as the recent oversized Little Nemo Sunday pages) and quality (amazing) as the actual prints. There will be an essay by me about the song, what inspired it and what it means to me. There will be the script for Kyle and the emails. There will be a reproduction of Amanda's handwritten lyrics. And we will sign it, and limit it, and I very much hope that each of the people who winds up with a copy is made very happy by it.
Of all of the things in the Kickstarter campaign, it's the most likely to ship last, because the production process of objects like this is always beset with nightmares. We want it fancy and beautiful and unique, but each fancy thing we add means there's something else that can go wrong or delay things, and that printers and bookbinders and boxmakers will simply not be able to do what we're asking, meaning we'll have to find someone who can, or wait, or send something back to be redone.
Right now, Kyle is taking the handful of last photographs for the book. And as we were talking about it, I realised, with a creeping horror, that the final photo had, inevitably, to be me and Amanda. Amanda has been in many photographs naked, has no nudity taboo that I've ever noticed. I'm English. I have a nudity taboo.
Kyle took several shots of us in Philadelphia last week, in our hotel room. Some of them we had the covers over us, in others (the scary ones -- well, scary for me) we didn't. I held Amanda and did my best to go to sleep and not to think about the camera on a stick far above us.
I've not seen any of the photos Kyle took of us without bedclothes, yet. I'm nervous as hell about seeing them, but also certain that we'll find the one to be the final image, and glad it will only be in a very limited edition book. But the photo that Kyle just sent over showing Amanda and me together, under the covers, with me mostly asleep, is beautiful. And this is it.
It's the only one of the photos that's in colour, too. I think we may use it as the image on the limitation page, the one we all sign.
And, with Kyle's permission, I'm putting it up here. 
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ursulav | |
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Enough people made vaguely interested noises in the editing process that I thought I’d talk about it a bit. It’s definitely the tedious, grim, discouraging bit of the process, but it occurs to me that you, O Prospective Author, may find it even more traumatic if nobody tells you what to expect! First, two caveats. I’ve had…I think…twelve books edited at this point, and that’s awesome, but the vast screaming majority were Dragonbreath books, and as editing goes, that’s a walk in the park with singing and dancing and happy bunnies frolicking in the grass. Only two or three required actual serious story-construction editing, where I had to grab whole scenes and shove them somewhere else, and my editor said things like “I don’t know–this bit just isn’t working here.” In 15K, you have to get everything done RIGHT NOW, and there is not much time for subtlety. This makes them tougher to write, in some regards, but it also means that I can edit most of them in an evening. (I believe I once edited one in an hour, at about 3 AM when I couldn’t sleep.) This is not what happens with novels. It is not what happened with Nurk, although that was certainly a very short book, and not what happened with Black Dogs and not what is happening with Bread Wizard, which is the book that lies before me, quivering, with its delicate little organ meats splayed out on the slab. (Seriously, this is kinda what it feels like. Editing is like major surgery. On both you AND the book.) Second caveat—I would love to hear from some other authors on their experience. This is JUST what’s happened to me, and may not be universal by any stretch. You’re talking to someone who’s first book sale (Black Dogs) was less than a decade ago, and I’ve only ever been with three presses, one small, two large. I simply haven’t been around long enough to say “This, here, is universal.” So take everything with a grain of salt. ( A post about editing that I didn't edit! It's meta! )Tags: publishing
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shadesong | |
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Totally copied and pasted from last year, with minor updatery. Say hi!I know a lot of people! This means I will often be with people. Please do not let this dissuade you from coming up and saying hi - my friends are friendly people too! I may take a sec to recognize you, or I may recognize you instantly. It will be a surprise to all of us, what happens. Seriously, though, I do love meeting people, and I'll be sad if I don't get to meet you, so come say hi. I'll be the short one. No, really, I'll be the short one.4'11". Further data: Curly calico hair that currently hits my shoulders, rectangularish gunmetalgreyish glasses, almost certainly wearing fabulous jewelry. Curvy. Probably accompanied by the delicious Judah (see his profile pic). GenderI identify as genderqueer, but I use female pronouns. Some people can totally tell when I'm feeling more on the male side of the gender spectrum, and some can't; I don't expect you to. Keeping in mind that I'm not cisgender is good enough for me. Please don't.* Wiscon is less crowded than other cons, so my startle reflex is less primed, but still: grabbing or hugging me from behind or playing Guess Who will not work out in a way that you enjoy. I would love to hug you! Make sure I know you're there first. * Having my hair played with is a very intimate thing. If you're not sure if we're that intimate, we're probably not. If you think we might be, ask. :) * No photographs, please! If you do catch a bit of me in a photo you must post to Facebook, don't tag me. * I am currently on leave from BARCC due to vicarious trauma. For self-care reasons, I need to not spend the con talking about rape and other sexual violence. If you bring it up, I'm likely to safeword out of the conversation. All of my dealing-with-sexual-violence spoons right now need to go towards Cicatrix and general recovery from constantly doing anti-sexual-violence stuff; I am taking this break now so I can get back to this work and be healthy about it. I can help you better long-term if I'm not worn to a frazzle, and unfrazzlement takes time. LogisticsI'm arriving Friday morning, leaving lateish Monday or early Tuesday; rooming with Judah. If you don't have my cell phone number and feel that you require it, e-mail me. My body wants to kill me.* Seizure response info can be found here. * The anti-seizure med I'm on is colloquially known as "the one you can drink on". Please do not look askance at me when I have a Manhattan; it is totally okay by my neurologist. Note: I do need to have my last drink ~2 hours before bedtime, because of my other evening meds. (Fending off "are you sure that's safe?" is not a huge issue in the grand scheme of things, but it gets wearying to do so again and again, so I tell you.) * I have celiac disease. This makes the "feeding' part of "care and feeding" difficult. I believe Wiscon's restaurant guide has a list of GF-friendly restaurants. I would love to go to lunch or dinner with you. Please understand that when I need to know what restaurant first, it's not that I'm being a diva, it's just that I don't want to be sick for a week. If I say no, it's not that I don't love you, it's that I'm not sure about my ability to eat safely where you're going. You don't have to amend your dinner plans for me, it's cool, we can hang out later! Indian food tends to be safe, and there's an Italian place nearby that has GF pasta. * I feel like I don't have to emphasize this as much at Wiscon, because Wiscon is more disability-aware than other cons. But basically, I am a grown-ass woman and I can manage my disabilities, and I know people mean well when they constantly touch base about whether I'm okay, but it gets tiring and I get to feeling othered. So please assume that I am okay. If I do need any kind of assistance, I promise I'll let you know. Where I'll BeDishing out cookies at the Gathering, on my panels, at my reading! I will be attending the Dessert Salon and the Genderfloomp dance party, and I'll probably be bouncing merrily along the sixth floor all night. Like Edward Bloom, I am a social person. My ScheduleFriday1:00-4:00pm: Coffee, Tea, and Subversion: Enjoy coffee, tea, ice water, and/or cookies! Members of the Interstitial Arts Foundation serve up refreshments and a bit of chat about the interstitial arts and the work of the Foundation. (As usual, I'm looking for Lovely Assistants! Hang out with me at the Gathering and dish out cookies!) 9:00-10:15pm: The Moment of Change: Feminist SFF Poetry Open Mic : Come join the authors of the "The Moment of Change" for an open mic evening in celebration of the first-ever anthology of feminist speculative poetry! "The Moment of Change" is edited by Rose Lemberg and forthcoming from Aqueduct press, and includes poems by Ursula K. Le Guin, Nisi Shawl, Amal El-Mohtar, Delia Sherman, Vandana Singh. Bring your own feminist speculative poems to read, and join Rose Lemberg, Shira Lipkin, Sofia Samatar, and Alex Dally MacFarlane for an open mic extravaganza to celebrate the release of the anthology and feminist speculative poetry in general. Saturday2:30-3:45pm: Crossing boundaries and bending genres: Meet the Interstitial Arts Foundation: Larissa N. Niec, Ellen Kushner, Rose Lemberg, Shira Lipkin, JoSelle Vanderhooft. The Interstitial Arts Foundation (IAF) is a non-profit organization dedicated to the study, support, and promotion of interstitial art: literature, music, visual and performance art found in-between categories and genres--art that crosses borders. One of the specific goals of the IAF is to foster conversations among artists, academics, critics, and enthusiasts--conversations in which art of all types can be spoken of as a continuum, rather than as a series of hermetically sealed genres. Currently, the IAF is seeking to grow and develop new projects. In this town meeting-style session, we seek input from (1) artists and writers about ways in which the IAF might be of value to them as they seek to promote their boundary-crossing work, and (2) readers and enthusiasts about needs they perceive for the support of literature and other art forms that expand the conventional boundaries of gender and other restricting borders. 4:00-5:15pm: The Wild Ones reading!: Q: "Hey Jane, what are you rebelling against?" A: "Whadda you got?" Rose Lemberg writes about liminal identities, naming magic, languages, and birds. Shira Lipkin will bring you to the home you never knew you'd lost. Alex Dally MacFarlane lives and works in London, where the foxes cross paths with her at night. Patty Templeton writes hellpunk in a hand-basket, full of ghosts, freaks, and fools. Join four women of varied writing styles for a ruckus of a reading. Sunday1:00–2:15pm: Blogging While Female: Shira Lipkin, Jacquelyn Gill, Susan Marie Groppi, Michelle Kendall, Therese Pieczynski. Online writing has become an indispensable tool for authors and fans, however abusive behavior is rife and women bloggers are disproportionately targeted. Even women writing online about seemingly inoffensive topics---technology or fashion or book reviews or gaming---attract far more abuse than men blogging about identical topics. In reaction, many women curtail their public presence by writing under pseudonyms, screening their audience, or simply spending less time online, leading to under-representation in the larger blog-o-sphere. What strategies can women bloggers employ to minimize abuse, while still making themselves heard and maintaining a conversation? Can online platforms do more to help? What can male allies do to change the underlying culture? 2:30–3:45pm: I may be blonde, but I'm not 20 and I don't actually physically kick ass. Shira Lipkin, Alaya Dawn Johnson, Holly McDowell, Karon Crow Rilling, Nancy Werlin. Is anybody else tired to death of young, sexy, kickass heroines with attitude? Where are the heroines whose brains are more important than their brawn, whose understanding of human nature is more important than their facility with firearms? Are there no mature women who are interested in things that go bump in the night? As usual, if you can only get to one thing, get to my reading! I am so excited to be reading with rose_lemberg, alankria, and pattytempleton! Tags: wiscon
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